Real Weddings

11 Ways to Deal With and Manage Pre-Wedding Jitters and Anxiety

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

If you’re planning a wedding and feel like you’re having pre-wedding jitters, don’t worry. It’s a part of the process and most people tend to go through and experience the same. Not to be confused with cold feet, pre-wedding jitters are the feeling of being anxious, on edge, or worried about the success of the wedding. 

Cold feet is another thing entirely. Cold feet is when one or both individuals who are planning to get married start having second thoughts because of certain concerns, attitudes, and incidents, and are considering either postponing the wedding or calling it off. 

If you’re having cold feet, you need to talk to a counselor as that’s a whole other issue. But if it’s just the anxiety and worries about the wedding being successful, there are things that you can do to manage or ease your mind. This way you can go on to have the wedding of your dreams

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In this post, we’ll show you some proven tips that will help you cope with and even overcome these jitters. The important thing is to ensure that you’re not overwhelmed by these feelings. They will pass. 

Go Do Something Fun

Instead of fretting over every detail and getting worried sick about everything going perfectly, go and do something fun with your girlfriends, partner, or family members. The idea is to get you out of your head and engage you in something else. 

For instance, go swimming, dancing, partying, listen to great music, attend concerts and music festivals, eat amazing meals… do whatever you consider as fun. A proven way to have tons of fun is watching really funny comedies –can be TV shows or movies. Laughter can ease those tensions and drastically reduce your anxieties.

Know that Others Have Gone Through it

man standing near the woman walking in party during nighttime

Photo by Andreas Rønningen on Unsplash

See those successful weddings? They were fraught with their unique issues. In fact, all weddings tend to have their snags. 

But if those couples ended up having a successful wedding, in spite of those challenges, you can too. So, take comfort in the knowledge that even your most picture-perfect wedding probably had its fair share of drama and problems. 

Get Pampered

You need to unwind and relax. Remember that all that tension and anxiety will not look good on you during your wedding. If you don’t want to look stressed or have eye bags in your wedding pictures, you need to make out time to get pampered. 

Pampering doesn’t have to be an all-day affair either –you have a wedding to plan ;). But, you can book a 30-minute to 2-hour spa session, and just let go while you’re there. Let go of your worries for that period and just get into the sessions. If you want you can do this once a week or once in two weeks; can also be more frequent if money is no object and you have the time. 

Have a Wedding Rehearsal

Most times, pre-wedding jitters are caused by a feeling of inadequate preparation. Brides and grooms who feel like they haven’t prepared enough might feel some anxiety about this perceived lack of preparedness. 

The only way to address these feelings is to take action. So, if you’re worried about stuttering during your wedding vows, making mistakes during your dance, or even misstepping while walking down the aisle, the best thing to do is rehearse this over and over until you have the routine down. 

This way, you’ll avoid making the mistakes that you dread. There’s also the added advantage of the rehearsal helping to ease your fears –going through the routine helps you see that it’s not a big deal and that you can actually do this.  

Avoid Stress Eating

Some people –brides in particular- tend to turn to comfort foods when they’re stressed or anxious. This won’t do you any good as it will only lead to weight gain. 

Thus, unconsciously manifesting your fears about something going wrong during the wedding (what’s worse than a bride not being able to get into her dress?). Remember, you want to look your best during your wedding. 

So, instead of eating junk foods, make a pact with yourself that you’ll only eat fruits and veggies before the wedding, and then indulge yourself after the wedding. Most brides find that there’s no need for the indulgence part afterward because they’re no longer anxious, and therefore, have no food cravings. 

Get Adequate Rest

Sleep is your absolute best friend before the wedding –you need your beauty sleep. Many brides often find themselves sick with worry and unable to sleep in the days or weeks leading up to their wedding. 

Yet, they wonder why they look tired and stressed in their wedding pictures. Don’t be one of these brides. Seek natural ways of going to sleep at night. You can take melatonin supplements, a few drops of CBD oil, or other natural sleep aids. 

Another method that works well is working out until you’re exhausted. Then, take a bath and we guarantee you’ll fall asleep right after. Not only will you sleep better, but you’ll also stay or be in great shape for your wedding. 

You can also soak a warm bath and drink some wine afterward to relax. If you try everything else and are still struggling to sleep or stay asleep, pop a couple of pills of Ambien or Restoril to get you going. You’ll sleep better and wake up rejuvenated. 

Have a Checklist 

person writing bucket list on book

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Sometimes, pre-wedding jitters are caused by a sense that you’re leaving some things undone. To prevent this, why not create a checklist –it can be as robust or as short as you want- and continue to update it over time. This will include everything you need to do in order to have a successful wedding. 

After creating the checklist, it’s time to arrange the to-dos in their order of importance. Start with the most important things and work your way down. Identify the things you need to do by yourself and other things you’ll have to outsource. For instance, you might have to hire a wedding photographer, caterer, wedding dj, events manager, and so on. 

If you’re outsourcing or hiring professionals, remember to periodically follow up on the individuals handling those things to make sure you’re on track. Here’s a simple trick that helps with your peace of mind: have a backup plan in case someone you hired or delegated some tasks to, drops the ball.

Discuss Your Anxieties With Other People

If you do have close friends and family members that you can discuss these negative thoughts and worries with, make sure to talk to them. Sometimes, talking about these issues can be therapeutic and can build your confidence. Also, your friends can provide you with fresh perspectives or ease your concerns. 

We don’t know if there’s a support group for about-to-wed brides and grooms –something similar to AA for alcoholics- but this would be superb for women who don’t have close friends or family members that they could talk to. This way, brides-to-be can just walk into these venues and take turns talking about their worries.  

Take Antianxiety Meds

If all the tips here don’t work, talk to your doctor about your anxieties. They may be able to prescribe some antianxiety medications for you. 

These drugs can help you feel good, stay calm, and provide you with a sense of tranquility. More importantly, they can stem your fears and worries so that you don’t become overwhelmed by them. 

Allow Room for Some Mistakes

You probably don’t want to hear this, but there’s no such thing as a perfect wedding. Flowers can die, butterflies may refuse to fly, your bridesmaids may be late, you may end up sweating and ruining your makeup… a million things can go wrong. This is not to scare you, but to prepare you for what’s likely to happen. 

Weddings can look perfect for sure. However, the reality is that most seemingly perfect wedding had their unique challenges and issues. They either didn’t matter enough to ruin the wedding ceremony or couples found a way to just go with the flow and adapt. 

Know that despite your best intentions, planning, and efforts, mistakes can and will happen during your wedding. Be prepared to either fix these issues or roll with it. Understanding that mistakes can happen, takes away considerable pressure and eases some of your anxiety. 

Trust That You’ve Done All You Can

people raising wine glass in selective focus photography

Photo by Al Elmes on Unsplash

If you’ve followed some or all the tips mentioned above, then you should trust that you have everything under control –even if it doesn’t feel like it. 

Go through your checklist over and over again to crosscheck and make sure you’re not missing anything. Then, just relax and hope for the best. If you’re religious, you could just say a few prayers every time you feel those fears creeping in again. 


Planning a wedding is a huge deal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small or big wedding, your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. So, yes you should have some worries. However, you do what you need to do, make the necessary plans, and trust that your wedding will be beautiful, and your marriage, blissful. 

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Shafonne Myers is a certified wedding and event planner who longed for bridal inspiration that looked like her. She has created a website and magazine that brings bridal inspiration to plus size brides. She does speaking engagements educating the world about plus size brides and self confidence.
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